Bi-Weekly Update: 6/5/2016

Another two weeks, another update. Just mostly enjoying my Summer, playing games, getting into new Youtube channels, and starting a new series my backers should have already seen (expect it Saturday otherwise!). I have more ideas for this blog, so be excited for that. But for now, some thoughts on stuff I’ve been looking at.


Helen’s Mysterious Castle


This is pretty great stuff here, and it is almost insultingly cheap. Made in a RPG creator program that’s NOT RPG Maker (amazingly), Helen is about …Helen, a cute anime girl who doesn’t talk and can’t read who decides to go explore a castle. That’s how the game starts. No further context. The story that develops is actually really clever and twists around genre conventions really well, but the battle system is the really impressive thing. It’s all about timing, as every move has wait time, and you have to plan ahead to defeat enemies with as little damage done to you as possible. It’s challenging and pretty short for a JRPG, and well worth the two bucks it goes for on Steam. Honestly, I’d pay up to fifteen bucks for what’s here, two bucks is absolutely worth it.

Saturday Morning RPG


This game is a giant mash-up of 80s nerd kitsch. They got the composer of Rocky IV and Transformers: The Movie to do the soundtrack. He did an original power ballad for the final action segment that references The Touch. You can turn into Mario. One of the mission objectives is to learn the true meaning of Christmas. This game is amazing and on almost everything at this point so please buy it. It’s like Paper Mario filled with 80s pop culture references and explosions. It’s fucking amazing.

Kare wa Kanojo


Holy shit this is one of the worst visual novels I’ve ever found. This was a free VN on the Google Play Store, so expectations in check, but the problems are not with the production. I actually don’t mind the obviously ripped from 3D Custom Girl character models (I even have the same expression mods), what gets under my skin is the awful, awful story. The dialog and narration from the main character are awful, but in a charmingly stupid way (WOAH GIRLS AREN’T SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD AT VIDEOGAME I LOVE THE ANIME [terrible sounding fake name clearly referencing a real property]). Until you get to the game’s big twist that is outright screamed at you by a bunch of bigoted assholes.

You can tell the creator really likes the works of Key. It pulls a similar dramatic twist meant to make you sad, which here is that the girl the guy crushes on is trans. But instead of just saying she’s trans, because I doubt the creator has ever met an actual trans person in their entire life, they come up with the most ridiculous bullshit to explain a thing that actually happens in real life that makes no sense for no good reason (also a Key hallmark) and even have said trans character refer to herself as a boy in the reveal. Which was the point I decided I was done. The entire reveal sequence is just so fucking awful, especially the terrible MC’s reaction, and including scenes of bullies calling the leads slurs is something that trans audiences may not want to see because THEY DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERY DAY. This game is just insulting and I hate it so, so much. It’s like if they made a game where the big twist is that the love interest was bi and had a girlfriend once and the male lead was completely horrified and became paranoid. No. Just no.

3D Custom Girl


I think I love this program. 3D Custom Girl is a program you see weebs say is a 3D modeling tool used for MikuMiku Dance videos, which is true, but they’re actually trying desperately to ignore that it’s also a program made for wanking, which is obvious once you mess with the poses options. That said, people can do amazing things with it. but they mostly do insane things with it. Myself, I went mod crazy and I’m just making characters I think look neat. Maybe I’ll do something more one day.


I Hate Everything


I’ve heard about this guy for awhile, as he’s had a crossover with Caddi and was a guest on Pan Pizza’s podcast, but I only recently checked out his channel, and I like it. Negative critics can be pretty terrible because of how easy they fall into the screaming asshole trap, but this guy doesn’t. He’s very self-aware and self-deprecating, and I can see a real growth with newer videos. For one, he stops using the word “retarded” (thank god), and his Search for the Worst series on the worst rated films on IMDB do a really good job of channeling the same energy as a Red Letter Media video as they go on. His I Hate videos also go to some interesting places, like interrupting his rant about Youtube Drama to prank call a weird social hotline. If you want video recommendations, try his videos on The Room, Freddy’s Comment Comeback, Baby Geniuses, Minions, Garbage Pail Kids movie, Little Panda Fighter, Destiny: The Taken King, and Superhero Movies.

I’LL CATCH UP ON ANIME LATER, SHUT UP. And I have to marathon …dragon crisis oh noooooooooo….



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